


Done Waiting

by Johannas_Motivational_Insults



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, Heavy Angst, because that's what I do, directly post s3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 02:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20146189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johannas_Motivational_Insults/pseuds/Johannas_Motivational_Insults
Summary: After the portal closes, a brokenhearted Scorpia confronts Catra about her questionable choices and poor treatment of her and Entrapta. Reeling from her own pain at the hands of Adora and Shadow Weaver, Catra is in no state to deal with these grievances.





	Done Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> Well season 3 broke my heart, chewed it up and spit it out. Now you all get to reap the fruits of my heartbreak… have fun? This is a darker take on Scorpia than we usually see, but I think there's a lot of pain and uncertainty hidden under her bubbly exterior.
> 
> Btw this is multiple POV, so be aware the POV switches around a lot. Some paragraphs are Catra POV, some are Scorpia POV, and some are kind of neutral, and I don't stop to tell you when it's changing.

Running. Catra is running. Away from the explosion, away from Shadow Weaver, away from this new and terrifying version of Adora. The Adora who looks at her with merciless spite, who sees nothing left in her worth saving. Catra doesn’t blame her. No one could be blamed for hating Catra at this point, least of all Catra.

Catra’s sins tally in her own head as her feet try in vain to outrun them. She sent one of her two remaining friends to die. Threatened the other. Tried to pull the person who means the most to her in the world into a vortex of non-existence. Almost ended the world in a fit of suicidal madness. She knows why she did it all, but yet, she doesn’t. How did everything go so wrong?

Catra keeps running, but she’s not only running away. She’s running to, as well. She only realizes this when she veers off of Hordak’s trail and toward Entrapta’s lab, where she last saw Scorpia. Maybe she’ll be there waiting, for the company of her friend or for answers to what the hell just happened. Catra would like both of those things too.

Waiting. Scorpia is waiting. For her head to clear, for things to make sense, for her life to mean anything. She’s still in a daze from being thrown back into reality moments ago, trying to process foggy memories of working with Adora. Of course it would be Adora, of all people. Adora, who may be the only person on the planet Scorpia resents. Adora, who has everything Scorpia ever wanted and doesn’t appreciate how easily any of it came to her. How easily she gained loyal friends, acceptance from the princesses, the love of a certain someone. Someone who only has eyes for Adora.

_“Okay, I get it, everyone loves you!”_

Remembering her own words in the warped reality makes Scorpia snort as she regains her faculties. Eyes clearing and flicking around the deserted lab, she spies the shock baton Catra used to neutralize Entrapta. Right before she sent her to Beast Island. Right before she pointed it at Scorpia. An ache fills Scorpia’s chest as she remembers Catra shoving her out of the way when she entered the lab. It deepens when she recalls how Catra said she couldn’t have done any of it without her, but in the most fake and patronizing tone Scorpia’s ever heard from her.

What even happened to Catra? Why did she change like that? Everything was going so well, even if it was only for a day. That was the best day of Scorpia’s life. For the first time in ages, someone she cared for finally seemed to care back. Catra toasted her, took her pincer in her own clawed hand, acknowledged the great team they make. Scorpia had Catra’s respect, companionship, and something that felt almost like love.

Almost.

Shaking her head sharply, Scorpia smacks the shock baton across the room and gets up off her knees. Standing tall, she sets her jaw. Scorpia is done waiting.

Scorpia is almost at the door when it opens and Catra comes flying through. Her face is flushed, her eyes wild. Scorpia’s eyes widen in concern, she can’t help it. She knows whatever Catra did to warp reality, it was because she was scared. Catra does a good job of hiding it, and often Scorpia thinks she’s the only one who understands just how scared this poor kitty is. Other than maybe Shadow Weaver.

Despite all the pain Catra’s put her through, Scorpia can’t fight the impulse to reach out for her friend. “Hey, it’s okay,” she assures her, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “We’re gonna be fine.”

The chitin of Scorpia’s pincer conducts no body heat, but warmth spreads from Catra’s shoulder throughout her body nonetheless. Though the sensation should be comforting, it’s anything but. Not after she felt the warmth of Adora’s hands, Adora’s proximity, Adora’s love, so many times before she lost it all. Again. Catra’s stomach cramps and screams danger, her whole body tensing in protest.

Shrugging out from under Scorpia’s arm, Catra deadpans, “Oh, good, Scorpia. There you are.”

It’s like getting punched in the gut. Scorpia deflates with a sigh. “Yeah. Here I am.”

“Good, I was worried,” admits Catra. “I mean, I wanted to make sure…” She trails off, unsure how much she should reveal about her mountains of misdeeds. “Do you remember anything?”

Scorpia crosses her claws and informs her, “Yes, I made it out of the portal alive, Catra.”

The unfamiliar frigidity in Scorpia’s tone makes Catra’s muscles tense again. Her head tilts slightly as she peers curiously at her friend. “Hey, are you okay?”

“I mean, I dunno,” admits Scorpia. Chuckling half-heartedly, she begins to ramble. “It’s crazy. The person I thought was my best friend tazed my only other friend and sent her to her death, and threatened to do the same to me. Then I got tossed into a weird alternate reality where I had to work with _her_ ex-best friend to fix some mess in Hordak’s sanctum, only nothing was there, and then… I faded away? Into nothingness? I don’t even know. Yeah, you can say I’ve had a day.”

“Look, Scorpia, that wasn’t…” Face flushing with shame, Catra averts her eyes. “I was upset, earlier. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“But you did.”

“Okay, I did. But-”

“No, no buts, Catra!” shouts Scorpia.

Catra’s tail sticks straight out, her ears perking up and then flattening against her skull. She’s never heard Scorpia yell before, not like that. Certainly not at her. Growling reflexively, she clenches her fists so hard her nails almost break skin.

“The way you treated Entrapta was not okay. The way you treated _me_ was not okay,” states Scorpia, steeling her resolve despite Catra’s obvious distress. If she never says these things, nothing will ever change between them. Pain and tension bloom in her throat, forcing her to swallow. “You said yourself you couldn’t have done it without me, so why did you start pushing me away the second you decided to go back?”

“That wasn’t about you,” Catra retorts flippantly, waving a dismissive hand that doesn’t match her tense posture.

“Yeah, clearly,” Scorpia snorts, her voice bitter and tight. She can feel tears welling up in her eyes now, and she doesn’t bother hiding them. “We could’ve had a good life, Catra. Why wasn’t I good enough for you? Why did you have to go and ruin it?”

Even in such a defensive state, Catra can’t help squirming at these echoes of questions she herself has asked. So very recently, too. Does she really make Scorpia feel the same way they made her feel? Eyes on the floor, she mutters, “I didn’t ruin anything.”

“Yes you did!” insists Scorpia. “No one forced you to go back to the Fright Zone.”

Sighing and groaning out her frustration, Catra meets Scorpia’s eyes again and spells out, “You don’t understand. Shadow Weaver left me for dead so she could go be with her precious Adora.”

“So?”

The question is like a slap to the face. A quiet growl rumbles in Catra’s throat and she steps closer, unwittingly baring her teeth. “_'So?'_ Seriously?”

“Look, Catra, I understand that must’ve hurt. A lot,” says Scorpia, laying a claw on her shoulder again. For once, Catra doesn’t mind the uninvited contact. “But why would you come back to this place that’s only given you pain and rub your own face in how both of them left you?”

Because it hasn’t only given her pain. All her happiest memories are within these walls too, and if she couldn’t have Adora she could at least keep those memories close, as much as they hurt her. But that’s too painful to admit. Thankfully, she has plenty of other reasons.

“Because they had no fucking right to be happy without me,” snaps Catra. “Should’ve always known they would be. They both leave me and almost get me killed in the process, and they get to live happily ever after in some castle while I’m exiled to the desert?” Swallowing the ache in her throat, she narrows her eyes. “You think I was about to let Hordak think I was worthless too, let everyone in the Horde think I rolled over and died?”

“You are not worthless,” insists Scorpia. “I knew that, our gang knew that. You had everything you ever wanted-“

“No, I didn’t!”

“You had power over your own life. You had people who respect you. You had someone who loves you,” Scorpia lists off. “How was that not enough?”

“Because it was the wrong people!” shouts Catra.

She regrets the words the second they pass her lips, even before Scorpia’s face crumples. Before her shoulders slump, before tears spill from her eyes and roll down her cheeks, making Catra’s stomach turn with guilt.

“Right,” rasps Scorpia, blinking away hot tears. She barely even gets the word out.

Reaching out tentatively, Catra tries laying a hand on Scorpia’s upper arm. “Scorpia…”

Scorpia spins out of reach the instant Catra makes contact. “You don’t need to say any more, Catra. You’ve said enough,” she grinds out, forcing her voice to stay flat. Gods, she’s such an idiot! Why did she even bother hoping Catra would come around? You can’t love someone into loving you, especially not someone like Catra.

Seeing Scorpia turning for the door, Catra leaps in front of her, blocking her path. Catra stands tall despite Scorpia being a head taller than her and at least twice her weight. Angry and hurt as Scorpia may be, Catra can’t imagine she’d do anything to hurt her. Scorpia does stop, but her eyes narrow and spark with anger. Before she has the chance to yell at Catra any more, Catra blurts, “Adora thought she knew what I wanted, you think you know. Why doesn’t anyone understand?”

Catra’s voice breaks, and Scorpia’s heart breaks with it. She can’t help the concern in her wide eyes and slack cheeks, no matter how much she needs to shut out the source of her pain.

Swallowing hard, Catra forces herself to continue, “My whole life I’ve wanted Shadow Weaver to see what I was worth. She never did. And Adora, she never did either. I thought she loved me, and that made things tolerable, but it turned out that wasn’t true either. Then Hordak seemed to see, until I made one mistake and then he cast me out, called me ineffective and worthless.” Heaving a heavy sigh, she drags her fingers through her hair. “I couldn’t live the rest of my life letting them all think that. I couldn’t just forget them. It wasn’t that simple.”

“Why couldn’t it be?” Scorpia asks, almost pleadingly. “Why couldn’t you just let go?”

How can she not understand? There’s no replacing Adora or Shadow Weaver. No one will ever be able to make Catra feel such joy, or such pain. They’re the only people who can lift this burden from her soul, make her feel like she’s worth anything, like she’s worthy of anyone’s time, or trust, or love. But there’s no way she can say all that without melting into a puddle of tears. Instead, Catra gestures feebly around the room and says, “This is all I’ve ever known. The Horde is my family.”

“They’re like family to me too, but you were miserable here.”

“I’m miserable everywhere, Scorpia!” Catra blurts out. Her eyes begin to sting and she blinks rapidly, trying to fight off the tears. “I wouldn’t have been happy, okay? Anytime I remembered them, it would’ve hurt. I never would’ve felt satisfied. I had to at least try to win their respect.”

“Even if it meant killing them? Killing everybody?” When Catra fails to respond, Scorpia regards her sadly. “You’ve got problems, Wildcat.”

Catra snorts. “No shit.”

“I’m serious. I know they hurt you, and I hate them for that. I wish I could take that pain away,” Scorpia tells her earnestly, laying a pincer on her own aching chest. “But you choose how you react to what they did, and all you do is make things worse for yourself, for everyone. That’s your problem, not theirs. And not mine.”

“I never said it was,” growls Catra. “I never asked you to try to be my friend, or whatever it was you had in mind. Don’t blame me because you got attached to someone incapable of love.”

“You’re not incapable. But you’re right, I was foolish,” admits Scorpia. Her claws flip up in resignation. “Look, I tried. I tried to make you happy. I tried to be enough for you. I wish I could’ve been. But there’s nothing more I can do for you.”

Those words strike Catra deep in her gut, sending a cold rush through her head. She can read between the lines. “You’re leaving me too.” Bitter laughter wells up inside her, spilling from her mouth in a torrent of frenetic anguish. “I should’ve known.”

Genuine sadness glints in Scorpia’s eyes and she sighs, head bowing as she grabs one arm with her other pincer. A stabbing pain under Catra’s ribs makes her look away, her jaw set. Adora would do that too, when she was upset. Even in the midst of her own suffering, Catra can’t handle the cold, creeping feeling of guilt at the back of her neck.

“I didn’t want to,” Scorpia finally says. “But I can’t stay with someone who keeps hurting me. I need to think of myself, too. And my other friends, like Entrapta.” She says those last words in a calculated manner, inclining her head and not blinking.

Catra’s heart sinks. “You’re going to tell Hordak, aren’t you?”

“Someone needs to go and rescue her, and he won’t let anyone go after her if he thinks she’s a traitor,” reasons Scorpia. “She’s my friend too, one who actually appreciates me. I can’t let her die just so you don’t have to deal with the consequences of your actions.”

“I’ll be out of the Horde for good,” protests Catra. “I’ll never be able to come back.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Scorpia points out, a hint of her usual optimism shining through the veil of sorrow. “You know you’re not happy here.”

“Stop telling me how I feel!” Catra gestures wildly with her arms. “This is my dream, Scorpia! You’re really going to take it away from me?”

“Take it away from you?” Scorpia stares in disbelief for a moment before shaking her head with a scoff. “I am not the one who sent Hordak’s lab partner to her death. You did that, Catra, not me. Do you even realize that what you do affects other people?”

Catra’s mouth falls open. As she tries to form a response, Scorpia shakes her head and looks away. “I’m done protecting you from yourself,” she says. “There’s no point trying. You want to be miserable.”

“No I don’t,” Catra says immediately. She means it, too. Even if she wallows in her pain, she wants more than anything for it to go away.

“You want to be miserable if you don’t have exactly what you want,” Scorpia rephrases, jaw set and eyes on the ground. “You don’t even want to try to be happy with what you have. And you had a lot, even if it wasn’t what you dreamed of.”

Hearing a slight catch in Scorpia’s voice, Catra inches closer, her expression softening. “Scorpia…”

“You should go,” Scorpia says flatly, blinking away tears. “I’m not giving that transport any more of a head start. If we’re lucky, we’ll intercept it before it gets there. And if _you’re_ lucky, Hordak will care more about chasing her than chasing you.” An agonizing moment of silence passes, and she tries so hard not to look at her friend, at this person she loves more than anyone. She can’t let her resolve crumble under the weight of Catra’s doleful gaze. That would do no one any good.

“Then thanks for the warning, I guess,” Catra finally says, her tight throat undermining the intended coldness in her tone.

Scorpia smiles sadly, finally meeting her eyes again. “You’re welcome. Take care of yourself, Wildcat. You’re the only one who can.”

That makes Catra snort under her breath as she turns away. Well, at least Scorpia believes she _can_ take care of herself, unlike some people. And now, now she’s more determined than ever to prove that she can.

The last thing Catra hears as she retreats is a sob bursting from Scorpia’s throat. She pretends not to. She keeps running.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel a bit better after getting that out. Hope it was cathartic for you as well. Come yell with me about your feelings [on Tumblr](https://johannas-motivational-insults.tumblr.com). :D
> 
> If you are a multishipping ho like me, go check out my Catradora fics. [Full Hearts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19364005/chapters/46071259) is a fluffy future fic oneshot (soon to be twoshot) and [Demons](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18026990/chapters/42594701) is the total opposite, a longfic with angst galore. Demons has some very heavy themes dealing with child abuse, but if you can handle such content I've been told it's an excellent story. ;)


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